tomfoolery and japery

Mea Culpa

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 09:13:11 +0800

In which Nat begs forgiveness for the recent lack of Tomfoolery and Japery in your lives…

T&J Movie Podcast Episode 63 - LA Confidential

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 10:45:37 +0800

The film that launched a thousand careers! Listen to this episode of our show if only to hear John’s masterful comparison of LA Confidential to Red Dead Redemption…

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Next week on the Tomfoolery and Japery Movie Podcast - “LA...

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 13:18:40 +0800

Next week on the Tomfoolery and Japery Movie Podcast - “LA Confidential”

T&J Movie Podcast Episode 62 - Flags of Our Fathers

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 07:53:46 +0800

John and Nat take a look at this groundbreaking film from the masterful Clint “Get Off My Lawn” Eastwood.

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If You Could Say What You REALLY Wanted...

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 15:35:07 +0800

I wrote an email politely asking for our female housemate to move out.

I sent it but this is the Email I actually WANTED to send instead

WHAT I ACTUALLY WANT TO SAY TO HOUSEMATE X

X You are ridiculous.

It has come to my attention that we all hate living with you. Throughout this email I will address the elements of your foul presence that have led us to this conclusion.

Your voice annoys the living shit out of me. I can’t really decide whether it’s primarily the voice, which is high enough an octave to imply your stupidity alone, or the dumb vacuous statements you come out with all the time, generally in short yet effective bursts. I’m fairly sure that every time you talk, somewhere a dead philosopher facepalms . I don’t care what movies like Legally Blonde are trying to say: people that sound like that are 100% stupid and likely to contribute next to nothing to society. Although unfair comparison really, because Reese Witherspoon is pretty hot. So at least there’s that. You on the other hand look more like the late Chris Farley dressed in drag.

Chris Farley was from time to time an amusing man. Who can forget his portrayal of the angry bus driver from Billy Madison? hahaha oh dear… Despite the resemblance however, you are decidedly not funny. Replying to “What’s Up?” by saying “The Ceiling” is not only mind blowingly stupid and mildy enraging- but it’s also a Dad Joke. Generally upon uttering a Dad Joke (which we are all prone to do from time to time) one could undo any of the embarrassment by drawing attention to the puerile and stupid nature of the joke that preceded by making a goofy face and using your fingers to shoot like revolvers, not unlike the Wiggles. Normally I would consider it to be a merit to stick to one’s guns, but laughing genuinely at your own joke that would likely be rejected by a Christmas Cracker company only goes further to establish you in the realm of the dumbass.

For the sake of brevity, this paragraph will be used to squeeze in everything else annoying about you which I would normally call: “Miscellaneous”. Here we go!
* You complain about mess if someone stays over and has slept on a couch, yet you leave your crap all over the place all the time and rarely clean up the oven after using it.
* Every person you have invited over to the house has been an annoying generic twat- especially your skank ass sister who thankfully has rarely graced us with her presence since I went ballistic at her for waking up my 4 year old child at 2am by banging on my window.
* You replace our music at parties with your ipod full of top 40 crap like Lee-Ann Rimes, N*SYNC and other assorted affronts to nature.
* You get shirty about people drinking and talking (I was gonna say partying but not even!) out the back on a SATURDAY… at 11.30pm!!!
* You display every negative element of behaviour that one would find in the most aesthetically bankrupt, generic handbag women that Subiaco has to offer, without the token attractiveness… so what’s the point?
* You seem to think that your giant boobs ( a by-product of obesity ) are an amazing asset, and feel the need to show them off all the time. Just don’t do it, man! You don’t look like a Kardashian. You look more like the six boob woman that Jabba gets hot for in the start of Return of the Jedi.

In conclusion, normally one might sign this kind of email with something like “Eat sh*t and kill yourself. Signed Everybody” but that seems a bit harsh given that you’re not actually Evil or anything. I’m thinking the classic:

GO AWAY.

From John

T&J Star Trek Podcast Episode 45 The Gamesters of Triskelion

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 09:00:07 +0800

Yet another race of hyper-intelligent all-powerful beings try to mess with The Kirk. Those glowing brains never stood a chance!

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Next week on the Tomfoolery and Japery Movie Podcast - “Flags of...

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 18:37:19 +0800

Next week on the Tomfoolery and Japery Movie Podcast - “Flags of Our Fathers”

Next Week on the Tomfoolery and Japery Star Trek Podcast - “The...

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 17:26:57 +0800

Next Week on the Tomfoolery and Japery Star Trek Podcast - “The Gamesters of Triskelion”

T&J Movie Podcast Episode 61 - Barton Fink

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 11:49:16 +0800

Once again, John and Nat delve into a word created by the Coen Brothers. Such an interesting place to be…

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Movie Watching Notes - Splash

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:44:59 +0800

Here’s Nat’s notes from watching this film for the Movie podcast:

Woolley booley!

Eugene Levy is in this! He’s in everything.

This opening just screams “fluffy romantic comedy”

Cape Cod 20 years ago. You mean 1991?!

Alan is autistic…

It’s a fantasy. Not a bad way to start.

Wierd to see the WTC in the establishing shot.

“Hey, Dad. Be in my film?”

Oh John Candy. You were amazing.

Love the literal secretary.

Fish tank. And bubbles on the soundtrack.

Young Hanks has love troubles.

Still doing the change trick.

“That bitch” Good line.

“Hey, bro. Be in my film?”

Like the way he slides across the bar.

A man this desperate for love is in real trouble. Unless he’s in an 80’s romcom.

Nice when he smashes the glass with his face.

No New York taxi driver would ever take that fare.

Hey Eugene!

“We’re not twins.”

Comical the way he sits low in the boat.

There are a lot of little well-thought-out bits in this film. Sight gags and such.

He’s fallen in da water!

Is this how Hanks dies? Run over by his own boat?

Lesson: get drunk, meet Naked Darryl Hannah.

Now THAT’s som3 80’s hair-crimp!

Dodgy hair-bikini as she dives into the water. Shoulda just let her be naked. But it’s Disney, so…

The ol’ Vista Charge-A-Card, eh? You could use it to buy a Sorny TV.

Very fishtank-esque sunken boat.

That’s the most comedy bandage.

Ass!

The guide guy seems like he’s someone. Some semi-famous SNL reject comedian.

Cutting off an ambulance! Bad form.

Beauty in a beam of light.

Give her your jacket, but NO PANTS!

Voracious.

Shopping montage.

Annie Hall reference. Makes me happy.

Look at all those advanced 4:3 CRT Colour TV’s!

Nice single shot when he gets home. His move when he’s waiting for the elevators.

Those salesmen are wearing suits!

She learned English by watching TV.

Powerful name.

Yes you are.

Time limit on the visit.

Madison is a name.

She’s gorgeous. He’s goofy-lookin’.

Time to let her fin flag fly.

This shot looks staged. Reversed. Oh, the effect with the changing of the flipper. The height of special effects!

“I’m just changing”

He’s unaccountably eager to break down the door, just because she wanted some privacy.

On top of the refrigerator. Heh.

Love how curmudgeonly Eugene Levy is.

Nice moment when he gives her the gift, and transitioning to the street performers.

Candy steals every scene he’s in.

Playing squash, with a cigarette in his mouth. Love it.

It’s kinda creepy to have people watching you play squash.

Important serious MOUSTACHE work!

How did they even get it in the apartment?

Well that was easy. He said it. “I love you.”

How did he find them so easy? Ah, 80’s movie plot holes!

The old ‘splashed the wrong woman wearing the clothes of a mermaid’ conundrum.

Geez Alan, tell us what you’re thinking, huh?

She wouldn’t have lasted 5 minutes alone at night in real 80’s New York.

Nice score, staring at the inviting waters.

Same couple!

“Ok, so when we do the protest scene, I want you all to bob your signs up and down, like this.”

President Generic Whitehair.

And down she goes. Wet Darryl Hannah. Wow that sounds dirty.

Fat guard.

Stark, harsh lighting. Dumping her in the water. Cruel. Good direction.

Freddy is the voice of reason. Fat, sleazy reason.

He instantly has a change of heart! Love the silly villains.

You can see where they made Eugene shave his eyebrows back so they weren’t so… lush.

Time for a caper.

No-one recognizes Hanks? The famous fish f*cker?

Candy’s Swedish acting is so funny. That little face he does.

Hut hut hut hut hut hut…

Those BMWs can really move.

Aw shucks.

She has magic powers to help you breathe under water.

“You can’t ever come back.” Just like a fairy tale.

The least graceful dive in cinema history.

You’re on my turf now, assholes.

Nut shot.

Suddenly they’re at a coral reef. In the East River…

Great closing credits sequence. The fantasy under the sea.

Holy crap I forgot about the shot of Atlantis! Hehe!

T&J Star Trek Podcast Episode 44 The Trouble With Tribbles

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:47:22 +0800

Really? Do you really need me to convince you to listen to THIS episode?

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Next week on the Tomfoolery and Japery Movie Podcast - “Barton...

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 11:13:14 +0800

Next week on the Tomfoolery and Japery Movie Podcast - “Barton Fink”

Next Week on the Tomfoolery and Japery Star Trek Podcast - “The...

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 21:02:42 +0800

Next Week on the Tomfoolery and Japery Star Trek Podcast - “The Trouble With Tribbles”

T&J Movie Podcast Episode 60 - The Searchers

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 12:53:20 +0800

Watchin’ a classic John Wayne genre-subverting Western today, kids! Check it out with us.

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T&J Star Trek Podcast Episode 43 Wolf in the Fold

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 12:39:28 +0800

Killer Piglet!!!!

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T&J Star Trek Podcast Episode 42 Obsession

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 09:43:04 +0800

ANOTHER Herman Melville homage, but this time the White Whale is a Vampire Cloud. Seriously.

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Next Week on the Tomfoolery and Japery Star Trek Podcast -...

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 16:24:57 +0800

Next Week on the Tomfoolery and Japery Star Trek Podcast - “Obsession”

T&J Movie Podcast Episode 59 - Gremlins

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 13:34:00 +0800

Dammit, Billy, there were only THREE RULES!

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T&J Star Trek Podcast Episode 41 The Deadly Years

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 09:17:58 +0800

Ok, let’s all take a break from combating the DEADLY RADIATION POISONING to make fun of Kirk’s old man makeup. Good idea.

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Next week on the Tomfoolery and Japery Movie Podcast -...

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 10:22:26 +0800

Next week on the Tomfoolery and Japery Movie Podcast - “Gremlins”